maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
