no, he came in my armpit
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
