Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
