You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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