it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
