i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
