I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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