how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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