Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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