after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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