what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
