i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
