He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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