Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think I am morally bankrupt
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
