This girl is more easily done than said...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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