AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
