Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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