I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
