My liver just broke up with me...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
