We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
