..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize