This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
