She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
