Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
