i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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