I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize