CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
