Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
