i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
