Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
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I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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