wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
