I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
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