ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
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I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
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I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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