he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
