Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
