I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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