I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
