So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
