So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
