im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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