do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
as a side note pls kill me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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