Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
