so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
