Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
