Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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