one two three fourrrrnication!
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Are we still banned from the library?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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