You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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