Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
