Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
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recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
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You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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