Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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