Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
