I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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