Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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