i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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