I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
