What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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