It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
