He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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