The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the day after is always just damage control
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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