recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
